It Won't Be Like This For Long

As the song goes, "it won't be like this for long. One day we'll look back laughing at the week we bought her home.  This phase is going to fly by so baby just hold on.  It won't be like this for long."  As we reached this 3 month mark in Emmy's life this song by Darius Rucker seems to be the new theme song that is constantly with me as I navigate through life.  Those first two weeks of Emmy's life were rough to say the least.  She wouldn't sleep longer than 2 hours and was up what felt like all night.  All she would do was truly eat, sleep and poop.  Now 3 months later Ryne and I really do laugh at that week we bought her home.  We watched a video the other night and I actually thought "who is that baby?"   Emmy looks, and acts, so differently then when she was first born.  It's hard to believe that this is the same baby.  My tiny 6 pound baby is now pulling at toys, reaching for the dog, and talking to all her "buddies" and family, this list could go on and on.  Now I find that I am laughing with her as she smiles.  She can make me smile when I want to cry.  She can make a bad day so much better by just looking at her.  The other day I asked her "Where is your daddy?" and she opened up her hand.  And I laughed and said "That's right!  You're daddy is right there in the palm of your hand!"  And she smiled.  Ryne and I say things like "I can't wait for (insert milestone here)"  but the truth is I can wait.  Sure I am looking forward to when she can hold her own bottle and I would love to know what her voice sounds like but I can wait.  People always say "they grow up so fast" and before I had Emmy I thought it was just something people say but it is true!  I really hope that the rest of her life doesn't go as fast as these first three months go but I know it will!  She is such a beautiful and pleasant baby and I just want to hug and squeeze her.

In other news I have to give a little shout out to my husband.  Ryno, I love you more than anything and just remember "it won't be like this for long".  I am proud and happy to call myself your wife and I can't wait to see what our future has in store for us :-)

Christening

This past Sunday Emmy was baptized at our parish church.  It was a beautiful day and the weather couldn't have been better.  My parents were awesome for all they did to make the day special for Emmy.  From cleaning their house to controling the food to everything in between.  My little girl looked beautiful that day thanks to her godparents, Uncle Kevin and Aunt Barbie, who bought her the christening gown.  The food was delicious and everyone had a great time.  Thank you everyone for coming to help us celebrate with Emily Grace.

Speechless

I took this picture of Emmy yesterday and words can't do her justice!  She is such a beauty.  I can't help but think about how beautiful she is going to be as she grows.  I always think of that song lyric that says "You must have been a beautiful baby, you must have been a beautiful child, you must have been a beautiful baby cause baby look at you now!"  She will be a heartbreaker!  This has quickly become my favorite picture of Emmy.  I love her to pieces!!!

Daddy's Little Girl?

This Father's Day has got me thinking about not only my dad but my Pop~Pop Fish too.  There are many days where I miss you Pop~Pop so much it hurts and today is one of them.  This is the first time I am celebrating Father's Day without him.  This is not an easy day for me just as I am sure it is not an easy day for my mom.  In fact this morning I almost called him to wish him a Happy Father's Day only to realize that I couldn't.  I nearly cried when I remembered that I couldn't do this by phone.  My heart breaks whenever I look at my daughter and realize that she didn't get to meet this great man.  She was born not even a week after he died.  I never asked myself why him but at the time (and to be honest I still do) I ask why that time?  With only 4 days until my due date I got the phone call that my grandfather had passed away and at his funeral I stood giving the eulogy praying my water wouldn't break.  Not exactly how I invisioned going into labor. 

So while today I miss my Pop~Pop so much that it hurts I have to remember to celebrate the other men in my life.  Growing up, and even now, I never considered myself your typical "daddy's girl".  Sure I love my dad and he was a hero in my eyes but I wouldn't have pegged myself as a daddy's girl.  Then I realized something today, I was more a daddy's girl growing up and even today then I ever realized.  My dad has always been there for me to show me the way, teach me new things and tell me everything was going to be OK.  I have had the privilege of being taught how to throw a softball, roll a bowling ball and even empty the dishwasher (which I still don't do that often).  My dad always made sure to do things that as a dad he was "obligated" to do although I know he never felt obligated.  We went to Father Daugther Dances all through High School and only now as an adult do I realize what precious moments they were for us.  Perhaps my favorite thing to think about when I think about my dad is when we danced at my wedding and his speech.  Sure I pick on him for his speech but it was from the heart and he meant every word he said.  So here I am this Father's Day ready to say to the masses that I am proud to call myself a Daddy's Girl for I know that my life was influenced by a great man!  I know I can go to him for anything.  He is supports me in all I do even if he doesn't agree with it and he is someone that I will always be able to count on.

My hope is that my Emmy gets to have this realtionship with her daddy.  At only 2 months old you can tell she is completely in love with her daddy.  She looks at him with awe as almost to say "daddy you are my hero".  She smiles at him and talks to him on a regular basis.  She loves him and knows that he is her daddy.  My mom one time told me that she realizes that we are her mommy and daddy even if she doesn't know what those words mean.  And I thought what could this mean to a 2 month old.  Sure she loves us you can tell in her eyes but what must that feel like for her.  It much be such an overwhelming emotion for her tiny brain to comprehend, I'm 29 years old and I barely comprehend it.  Anyway getting back on track I know that when my baby is my age she will look back on her relationship with her daddy and smile.  She will know that he would move heaven and earth for her.  He will have been at every recital, softball game, bowling game, birthday party and everything in between.  He will be her hero and I will be second best,  and I am OK with that.  She is truly a daddy's girl and I hope she realizes it much sooner than I did.

One Hand

The time is now 10:34a.m. and I am typing this blog with one hand not because I can and want to show off but because I have to.  Why?  Because my daughter has decided that the best place for her to nap at the present moment is on my left arm (completely asleep by the way).  It's amazing what your body can do when it has to.  For instance the things you can do with one hand. I have learned that I can make a bottle, make a sandwich, pack a diaper bag, put on pants, pick something up, brush my teeth, brush my hair, turn on a swing, blog. . .the list goes on and on.  I can remember before I had Emmy watching moms carry their baby around in one arm and I used to think "isn't that dangerous" or  "I would be so nervous to do that".  Within one day of being home with Emmy I was a pro at the one arm hold just like every mother before me and every mother after me.  The one arm hold is getting a little trickier these days as Emmy is squirming a lot more and likes to look at different things.  So I've learned that I am now a pro at switching holding positions while standing with Emmy.  So the truth is I am not nervous about holding Emmy like this nor do I find it particulary dangerous (as long as I'm the one doing it).  But I would never hold another person's child like this for fear that I would drop them.  It's the whole "you break it you buy it" mentality.  The time is now 10:45 a.m.  and I am finished typing this blog.  But that's not really a fair assessment of my one handed ability as in this time I have typed this blog, put a crying baby in her swing, made sure she had her binky in her mouth, went to the bathroom, hugged and chatted with my husband, pet and chatted with my dog and got a drink of water.  Ah the multi-tasking days of a mom

Closing Times

Like the song says "every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end".  Today I went to close out my classroom and it was a little bittersweet for me.  There is so much drama that is surrounded by the end of this school year and I am just grateful to have a job.  For the 3rd time in 6 years I will be switching classrooms and for the 5th time I will be changing grades.  I have taught the same students for two years in a row and am glad that I am able to get a group of new kids next year.  I have to admit though this is the first time in years that I haven't looked forward to summer vacation.  I'm lucky I've never known what it was like to not have a summer.  I was always in school or a teacher.  Sure I worked at Kohls all through college but it was still summer and I had a break.  At that time I wanted to work so I could have money.  There is a big difference between wanting to work and having to work.  Now I have to work and it sucks!  I would love to be a stay at home mom and it's sad that in today's economy and world this is not a possibility for many moms.  So alas I am sad that it is summer because that means I am closer to going back to work and having to leave my baby girl.  I'm not looking forward to this one bit.  I don't know how my husband does it everyday.  He leaves me and Emmy laying in bed and goes off to work to provide for us.  I admire him for this.  I hope I can be like him and be brave when I go to work and leave my baby at home.  I hope that I am able to focus on my job and not worry about my daugther all day.  And it doesn't make it any easier when people say, "oh it's going to be so hard for you to go back to work!"  I want to slap them and say yes thanks for pointing that out I thought it would be really easy to leave my daughter for 8 hours a day.  But then I think that I have to be grateful for the job I have.  I'm lucky that I get days off, half days, good vacations and summer vacation to spend with my daugther.  Most moms won't get this opportunity and I am grateful for it.  It's a running joke amount teachers when people ask what is your favorite thing about teaching and you reply "June, July and August".   This was never my response until becoming a mom and now I know that teaching will be a whole different experience for me.  I know I will look at these kids and say I hope my daughter does/does not become like this child.  I will wonder will my child be the talker or the geek of the class.  I know I have a while to think about this but it is what enters my mind.  For now though I am going to enjoy my summer with my daughter and not think about going to work this coming Sept.

"I made you!"

So last night Ryne was telling Emmy the story of her conception, well parts of it at least.  He told her how she was a Disney baby and what we did that day and how she came to be her.  He ended it with an enthusiastic "I made you!"  She thought that was funny and let out a little giggle.  When Ryne finished his story I really thought about what he said and it got me thinking.  This time last year Emmy wasn't here.  The world didn't know of any Emily Grace L.   In fact this time last year we were trying to concieve our first baby and if she was a girl her name was going to be Madison not Emily.  Only after we became pregnant did our little girl become Emily.  I love my little girl so so much but if it wasn't for that perfect time she wouldn't be here.  Another day or another time and she could have been a boy or a girl but not this little girl.  Not my precious "happy baby"!  It amazes me everyday when I look at her and realize that Ryne and I made her.  She is a part of each of us.  Not long after I gave birth to Emily Ryne sent me a text that said something to the effect of "this is why we met".   And I realized that he is right.  We went to the bowling alley that night to meet and we fell in love and got married all to end up HERE with this little girl.  If it wasn't for Bobby (God help us!) Emily wouldn't be here.  I can't help but be sad by that thought!  The world is forever changed just by the mere presence of my daughter.  My life is forever changed by Emily.  She is my everything and she will change the world!